Paul
"I have to cancel coming to your house this evening. I've had such a busy time and am so stressed out." Sound familiar? Not only did the caller cancel, she commented, "And the rest of the month is just as bad!"
Stress, stress, stress. We now have stress management seminars as well as pills to help relieve stress.
I recently read that in the early 1900's the top ten killers of people in the US were infectious diseases. Oh how the picture has changed! It is estimated today that with all the blood pressure problems, diabetes, heart problems and cancers, to mention a few, the top ten killers of people in the US are stress related diseases.
And of course stress not only affects our health, but also our relationships. When suffering from stress, we don't sleep as well; we tend to be more critical, often saying things we later regret; we often react rather than taking the time to think things through and/or praying about them. And of course the things that cause stress often occupy or consume our thoughts and conversations.
John Maxwell, motivational speaker and author, shares eight possible stress indicators.
1. Do minor problems and disappointments get under your skin and rile you more than they should?
2. Are you finding it hard to get along with people? And are people having trouble getting along with you?
3. Have you found that you're not getting much of a kick anymore from the things you used to enjoy - watching a basketball game, going fishing or camping, seeing a movie?
4. Do your anxieties haunt you; that is, are you unable to shut them out of your mind?
5. Are you now scared of people and situations that never used to bother you?
6. Have you noticed that you're becoming suspicious of people around you ... even of your friends?
7. Does the feeling that you're being trapped come over you?
8. Do you feel inadequate, just not good enough to hack it?
"If we," Maxwell explains, "answer 'Yes' to any of these questions, our internal stress gauge is rising." So how do we deal with stress, reducing its affect on us? As many of you may have read, Dorothy and I have chosen Philippians 4: 4-8 as our life verses - that is, verses we particularly focus on living out. However, as we read the first 13 verses of Chapter 4 we find other important stress reducers, ( and much could be written on each). I'll just mention them briefly:
1. Knowing that we are loved, first by God and then by others.
2. Being involved in helping others, that is giving of ourselves.
3. Rejoicing always - God has not changed; spending time in fellowship with God - talking to Him about all our concerns as well as listening to Him will help us have a positive perspective.
4. Focusing our mind on the things of God - (verse 8 lists these things).
5. Having fellowship with mature Christians through mentoring or small groups and Bible studies.
6. Being content, which involves being flexible and able to adjust to the circumstances you find yourself in.
7. Knowing that Jesus is your Source of strength.
I want to encourage you to read Philippians 4: 1-13 each morning and evening for 30 days. Ask God to help you live these verses and purpose to do so. You will find that you can experience the peace of God that surpasses all understanding and that your stress level or things that cause stress will be significantly reduced or even eliminated. God is faithful and as we live His Word He truly blesses us.
In His Love,
Paul
1. Thou shalt not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.
2. Thou shalt not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.
3. Thou shalt not cross bridges before you come to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this.
4. Thou shalt face each problem as it comes. You can handle only one at a time anyway.
5. Thou shalt not take problems to be with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.
6. Thou shalt not borrow other people's problems. They can better care for them than you can.
7. Thou shalt not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in you life and be happy now!
8. Thou shalt be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. It is hard to learn something new when you are talking, and some people do know more than you do.
9. Thou shalt not become "bogged down" by frustration, for 90 per cent of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.
10. Thou shalt count thy blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.
Romania
Ileana Pincu has completed the work on the village churches in Romania for the winter. She is back in Phoenix until spring when she will again return to Romania to work on the churches.
PUTCI was able to give Christmas gifts to the children and staff of an orphanage that Ileana works closely with.
PUTCI will have another work trip to Romania at the end of June, 2005 if you are interested in going with us call at 623-815-6826 or e-mail us at paulgdorothye@juno.com for details.
Uganda
Pastor Ponsiano reports that he has been able to send more children to school this year than any other year. Since most schools are private in Uganda it is necessary to have support for the children in order to send them to school. Many thanks to all that have given for the support of the orphans.
Pastor Tony Carter and his wife Laura from Woodland, WA leave January 10th to visit Pastor Ponsiano and his family and the children under his care. They plan to minister to the children and the widows who help care for the children.
If the title of this article grabbed your attention, your marriage may fall into one of three categories: you met your spouse and married before either of you knew Christ; one of you hoped to "convert" the other after marriage; or the two of you are just at radically different stages in your spiritual growth.
Regardless of the particulars, spiritual conflicts within a marriage can produce monumental crises. If you are in such a relationship, you are no doubt familiar with the corresponding challenges.
But let's get to the bottom line: is there hope for success in spiritually mismatched marriages? Truly, with God's help, anything is possible. But in many cases, the biggest inhibitor to progress is that Christian spouses simply don't know where to start. Many have become hopelessly discouraged after receiving ridicule and resentment for their commitment to Christ.
Therefore, the first course of action for a Christian spouse is to gain a clear understanding of his or her biblical role and responsibility in an unequally yoked marriage. Christian author Lee Strobel offers this advice as a starting point: "The Bible gives Christian wives and husbands this responsibility: love your spouse. Love him or her unconditionally. Be devoted, be prayerful, be encouraging - but don't try to be responsible! You're not. Your spouse is. Period.
"Above all, don't blame yourself. The devil wants to use guilt and feelings of inadequacy to cause you to doubt your own faith. 'This is too difficult,' he whispers. 'Your husband or wife is going to leave you if you place Christ first in your life.' We must resist these snares from Satan, along with our urges to give up and give in. You must release yourself from feeling guilt over the fact that your husband or wife is not a believer." *
When you understand that you cannot change your spouse - only God can do that - you will be free to relinquish your guilt and move on to more productive efforts. Instead of nagging your husband or wife to attend church or read Christian literature, the Bible suggests that there are ways to influence your spouse for Christ.
Above all, remember that God is with you. He will be your strength, your rock and your provider as you walk this difficult road. Not only does He love you; He loves your spouse as well. The Bible tells us that the angels rejoice when a lost sheep come home. (Luke 15: 7) As you await this blessed day in you spouse's life, take comfort in the Shepherd who pursues us with passion.
*Excerpt taken from Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage by Lee and Leslie Strobel, Zondervan, 2002
We Communicate On Three Levels.
The nature of the human being is that we are a spirit, we have a soul, and we live in a body. Each part of us has a mind and a voice of its own. Our body cries out: "Feed me, I'm hungry.", "I want sex and I want it now." Our soul is our mind, our intellect, our feelings, and our emotions. We hear it say: "I'm angry!" "I'm happy." "I'm sad." "I'm glad." "I'm in love!" Our spirit is the part of us that is in touch with the spiritual world. It is supposed to rule over flesh and the souls, and order them to get in line with God and make them behave. The flesh and soul are unruly children and are at war with the spirit. [See Romans 7]
Since each part of us has a mind of it own, we can communicate on three different levels. We communicate physically through touch and "intercourse"; which means communication. We communicate in the soul by verbal communication, sharing thoughts and feelings. We communicate spiritually through prayer. Ecclesiastes 4: 12b says: "a threefold cord is not easily broken". If we are communicating on three levels we are not vulnerable to the enemy's attack. If we are communicating on only two levels, we are vulnerable. If we are communicating on only one level we are in real danger. If we are not communicating at all, we do not have a marriage, we have a bad habit!
Our current electrical systems are based on three wires. If one wire is disconnected, nothing will happen if we flip the light switch. If one of the other wires is disconnected, we may be electrocuted when we touch the switch! All three wires are necessary for us to safely and effectively use our power. All three levels of communication are necessary for a safe, powerfully fulfilling marriage.
Spiritual Communication - Prayer
There used to be a saying, "The family that prays together stays together." This was only partially correct. The couple who prays together while communicating on the other two levels as well, will stay together!
Years ago, when I was a pastor, I ministered to a couple on their way to divorce court. God directed me to ask them to pray together for one moment a day. Coming from my pastoral background, I had a hard time believing that one moment of prayer could help anything. I used to ask people to try to pray for at least an hour a day. God showed me that expecting any couple to pray consistently for an hour a day was unrealistic.
Asking them to pray for a moment a day is a realistic, attainable goal. Everyone can spare one moment a day. No one can truthfully believe that one moment of prayer, is going to make them any later than they already are. One moment of prayer is something that even atheists have agreed to! I just ask them to humor me. Some have actually gotten saved because of one moment of prayer a day.
In that moment of prayer we pray for things that are intimately important to us. We do not pray for our pastor, or the church, or the missionaries in "Boola Boola land". We pray for our personal needs to be met, for protection, for strengthening of our marriage, for work, or personal needs. In the Lord's Prayer, Jesus taught us to say: "give us this day our daily bread." [Matthew 6:11] How long does daily bread last? How often do we have to ask for it? How often did the Israelites have to go back to the Lord for manna? [Exodus 16]
Much of this prayer is going to be repetitious. We need to pray for the same things every day. We brush our teeth each day and don't complain about that being repetitious. Yet, when time comes to prayer, many people complain that it is repetitious because they are asking for the same things every day. When we pray together for that moment a day, we are touching spirit to spirit. We are agreeing together and we are inviting God to release His power to work in our lives. "Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven". [Matthew 18: 19]
This moment of prayer is not a complete replacement for other prayer. Remember, there is time for a peck on the cheek and a time for a lingering embrace.
There is time for a moment prayer and time for extended prayer. Don't confuse the two. If we try to force the extended time into the time scheduled for the moment prayer, we will open the door for thinking that we can't afford to take the time because it might grow beyond the moment and we are late already.
Keep the "moment prayer" separated. Do it daily. It takes three weeks to create a habit. Do it at the same time daily in order to make it a normal part of life.
Remember, Agreement Is The Place Of Power.
Praying together is one of the hardest things a couple may ever try to do. It is certainly the most intimate thing a couple will do. Having physical intercourse is intimate, but when we touch sexually we are just touching houses. 2 Corinthians 5:1 teaches us that our bodies are just houses that we live in: "For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, a house not made with hands, eternal in heavens." So intercourse is just touching house to house.
Praying is touching spirit to spirit, our real essence joined with the real essence of our partner. When we share physical and emotional communication, prayer is the MOST intimate thing we can do. That is why it is so difficult for some couples.
For those who have problems praying, I recommend that they write their prayer out the day before and read it. After a few times of doing this, you should be able to do it spontaneously. Don't feel badly if it is uncomfortable at first. I have ministered to pastors and their wives who have trouble praying together!
It is important to start communication with prayer. Prayer brings us into agreement. Prayer open us up to God's blessing. Prayer opens us up to intimacy. Prayer has power to heal.
Taken from A Sanctified Marriage by James A Laine, PhD
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We appreciate your comments and suggestions regarding articles in the newsletter. You can contact us by writing to: Partners United Thru Christ Intl. Call (623) 815-6826 Email: paulgdorothye@juno.com |